Sick Goat

“We’ve been walking for a long time through a dark tunnel.

We do not remember the beginning. Our horses remember color.

What breached the opacity was our goat hearts.

It would have killed me too. I had a daughter and a son.

I had a woman I loved so much, I wanted to wipe up her oils with a rag.

Women die, all poems are women. They’ll tell you things you want to hear.

Body parts are suspended in the corners like the women arranged them there

Just so I would tell you they look like trees. But they don’t look like trees

They look like the rancid flock I caught up with

Just to knife them up and take their water. Now the dirt

Is covered with pools of placid angels. When I step in them

They come back to life, I know the answer.

My feet are worn out now, and my hope’s yarn. When I see my woman again

I’ll give her cow parsley from that spot by the river

Where we used to throw parties for four straight days.

My friends are my elections, I choose them for God. So they’re there

And I’m here. There are not so many of us now,

Really I don’t know the drip from the split. 

I’ve been ripped like a shirtsleeve, I’m mutated.

I survived and barely, I’m all nature. I’m sorry

I stole the water, she’s an angel now. I know what the angels 

Say to each other, they’re talking about me. They’re waiting for me 

To choose just one more of these freaks. The blood under my nails 

Is black, my right ear rings because I lost a fight once.

The water isn’t good enough, I just want the naked one,

If she has another baby, I will kill it. Her skin

Is a knife held up in the smoke. Her body’s like nothing. Nothing.

And it’s beating itself. It’s supposed to be me

Touching her, I’m not proud of it. Turkey vultures

Glisten like ointment in the dark. The mercy of God

Abandons, it comforts, forget it,” says the bible, like a nail.

 

Talin Tahajian is from Massachusetts. Her poems have appeared in The Kenyon Review, The Adroit Journal, Best New Poets, The Rumpus, Copper Nickel, Narrative Magazine, Poetry, TriQuarterly, Pleiades, West Branch, The Missouri Review, Poetry Daily, Verse Daily, The Drift, Mizna, The Georgia Review, The Iowa Review, Oxford Poetry, AGNI, and elsewhere. She’s a Ph.D. candidate in English at Yale, the assistant poetry editor of The Yale Review, and associate editor of Mark: A Journal of Christian Poets.